Friday, October 21, 2011

Today's Random Thoughts

1.)  Why am I always shocked to discover that I am happier around kind, compassionate people than I am around negative ones?  This shouldn’t be MENSA-level stuff for me anymore.

2.)  I just negotiated with myself like a parent to a child: If you eat broccoli and chick peas for lunch, you get to have a banana for dessert.  I love bananas, but as an adult who has developed all kinds of food intolerances and sensitivities, I really miss the “Payoff” reward foods of my childhood. (Think marshmallow fluff, fudge stripe cookies, and Snickers ice cream bars.)

3.)  In keeping with the food intolerance theme: If food is love, then that explains why I am still single.

4.)  I have officially given up on my quest to adopt a dog.  I am now focusing my efforts on a Chia pet collection.  Bonus: My landlord does not charge a $300 pet deposit for Chias.

5.)  Why do people always ask “Are you afraid of dying?” I’m afraid of the unknown on I-87 during rush hour. So yeah, death freaks me out. 

6.)  Cold & Flu PSA: Everyone in my office is infected and sneezing. And while I get the whole post H1N1 “sneeze into your arm” trend … I just want to remind people that Kleenex is still an option.  Especially if I have to sit across from you and your decorated sleeves in a meeting.

7.)  I recently read that anxiety disorder is a genetically-based condition passed down through generations.  Why couldn’t I just get a funky ear lobe or a freakishly long index finger like a normal person?

8.)  The most negative person I know just complemented my outfit and told me I was a peaceful person.  This means one of two things: either she is about to shed her human form, or she screwed up big time and is trying to assemble allies. I’m not buying whatever she’s pedaling.

9.)  It’s probably not emotionally healthy to long for raisins as much as I do.

10.)Even though my 38th birthday is Sunday, I already have food limitations, an arthritic shoulder, a spastic bladder, and an inability to drink caffeine after 2pm.  So basically I’m just waiting for the discounts to kick in.

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