Lighten Up is about peeking at life through a new lens and examining the lighter side of things - world events, family and friends, job stress, pet ownership - for relief from the challenges that weigh us down. Even though we don't shy away from the tough stuff here, we value the humor, the joy, and the absurdity of life. Most of all, Lighten Up promises some thought-provoking conversation, a little laughter, and just a pinch of reality thrown in for flavor.
Lately, every time I turn on the radio, I feel old.Not only is every popular singer/singing group under the age of 20 (it seems), most of them have names I either don't understand or can't pronounce.So I started thinking - what if I were to suddenly hit the music/entertainment scene?What would I call myself?What would I sing?After decades of music theater, I realize that I couldn’t pull off a pop version of "My White Knight" from The Music Man, or my standard “One Feathered Tail” from my Suessical days.So I started looking at the hottest artists – their names, their songs, their branding, and I think I’ve come up with some age-appropriate alternatives for myself, should an agent suddenly call and beg me to sign on:
Hasky Alternative: WTF?
Artist Name:Lady Gaga
Hasky Alternative: Hasky Haha
Artist Name:One Direction
Hasky Alternative: Aimless
Artist Name: Beyonce
Hasky Alternative: Beytwice
Artist Name:Pit Bull
Hasky Alternative: Schnoodle
Artist Name:Young the Giant
Hasky Alternative: Old the Gluten-Intolerant
Hasky Alternative: Proye
Hasky Alternative: Hazy
Artist Name:Lil’ Wayne
Hasky Alternative: A-cup Hasky
Artist Name: Slim Shady
Hasky Alternative: Body Dysmorphic
Songs/Lyrics: I’m sexy and I know it
Hasky Alternative: My thighs could use some work
Songs/Lyrics: Put a ring on it
Hasky Alternative:Step off! I’m a commitment-phobe.
Songs/Lyrics: You’re hot and you’re cold, you’re yes and you’re no …
Hasky Alternative:I’m peri-menopausal and indecisive
Songs/Lyrics: Never mind, I’ll find someone like you …
Hasky Alternative:I am NOT insane! I am just doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Songs/Lyrics: Marry the Night
Hasky Alternative:Piss off the Republicans: Marry the Night
Songs/Lyrics: You Are So Beautiful
Hasky Alternative:Good thing You Have a Great Sense of Humor
Songs/Lyrics: Birthday Cake
Hasky Alternative:Corn-free, Gluten-free, Wheat-free, Dairy-free Cake-like stuff with a candle stuck in the middle.
Songs/Lyrics: Drunk on You
Hasky Alternative:Designated Single
Songs/Lyrics: I Won’t Give Up
Hasky Alternative:I’m Throwin’ in the Towel
Songs/Lyrics: Give Me All Your Lovin’
Hasky Alternative:Unless You’re Dipped in Chocolate, Get Outta My Personal Space
Finally, in a rare, never-to-happen again moment, I would like to thank Justin Bieber – since he burst onto the scene and spread Bieber Fever all over the place, every kid over the age of 4 now knows that “i” comes before “e.”Thank you, Justin, for doing in ten minutes what many English teachers struggle to do over four years of high school.