Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Blog Talk: Dancing With the Stars, 'To Do' list addictions, and bladder situations. Among other things.

So here’s today’s randomness:

  1. Maybe it’s just because I’m feeling old these days, but I am officially out of patience with the likes of Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, and the whole hip and happening crop of body grinding, cleavage bearing, butt-crack flaunting young female singers. I guess that’s why I hate myself a little more each time I realize that the awesome song stuck in my head, the one I can’t stop singing over and over, the one that makes me wish I still taught spinning class so I could use it for hill climbs and flat sprints, happens to belong to one of these … kids.  Why oh why must their music actually be … good?!  (And saying that I simply like the songs for their catchy beats and great rhythms makes me no better than the beer-bellied, middle-aged men who say they read Playboy for the articles.)
  2. We got our first real snow of the season last night.  Can somebody please tell me why, with every year’s first snowfall, I act shocked and dismayed, as if I didn’t know snow was coming, before I proceed to whine and complain, to anyone who will listen (and many who won’t), about the slick roads, the backed up traffic, and my soaking wet socks? Time to bundle up for the next six months.
  3. I’ve been watching “Dancing with the Stars” this season and I’ve pretty much fallen in love with the entire cast. I ‘m not a reality show person, but I do love dance, and, in the privacy of my own home, I often convince myself that, had I stuck with the weekly tap/jazz/ballet classes of my youth, I, too, could have been flipping and leaping and spinning around the dance floor with Derek or Maks.  Also, I would very much like to tell Len Goodman where to stick it.  And I’d also like to have a mani/pedi day with Bruno Tonioli .
  4. Even though I am an introvert by nature, lately I have been wanting to resurrect two former passions: my yoga practice and my involvement in community theater.  Since I belong to Meetup.com (even though my schedule rarely leaves me available to attend many events), I actually went to the site in search of something that looked ether yogic or theatrical in nature.  So how lucky did I feel when I found an upcoming meetup called “Yoga for Singers” being offered nearby, on a day/time that worked for me?!  I quickly RSVP’d “Yes” before I could talk myself out of going.  Turns out, I’ve found another reason why skimming quickly instead of reading carefully often creates more problems than it solves: I just received my confirmation for “Yoga for SINGLES” this Saturday afternoon.  Um, no thanks.  If I want to flaunt my single status, I’ll go to a wedding and sit at the kiddie table until I get hit on by drunk Uncle Ned, the  close-talking taxidermist-by-day, adult-movie-theater-owner by night who has never met an ass he didn’t grab or an onion he didn’t like.
  5. Today’s “to do” list included the following item:
    1. Make tomorrow’s “to do” list
I wish I was kidding.
  1. Today at work, a colleague asked a group of us what we liked best about Thanksgiving.
Me: (Jumping in first) Watching the parades and seeing all the floats and performances in Times Square!
Other coworker: Being with family and friends and feeling gratitude for another opportunity to spend time with the people I love most in the world.
Me: Wait  … Can I change my answer?
  1. Today when my doctor asked whether or not my generalized anxiety symptoms had improved, I responded: “I don’t know. Sometimes when I’m at home, I do wonder who would find me if I fell down my staircase and knocked myself unconscious.”    I’m gonna title this book:  “Coming Over to the Dark Side: How My Honesty Turned My Holistic Health Practitioner into a Zoloft Pusher.”
  2. I work in a cubicle environment, which makes for a very close and intimate space-sharing situation, whether or not you’re into that sort of thing. Sometimes I feel guilty overhearing office conversations, so I put on my headphones and blast the jam while I work. Other times, like now, I become so totally immersed in eavesdropping on the pieces of a conversation about what someone’s eighth grade daughter saw in biology class when she looked at a hot dog under a microscope that I simply can’t bring myself to do anything other than Google “hot dogs” and silently thank God for soy and legumes.
  3. What’s the medical term for “I’m worried that I may have hypochondria”?  I’m wondering if my copay would cover a quick office visit to either confirm or rule this out.
  4. Now that I’m 40, I answer to one of two masters at all times: Shy Bladder and Overactive Bladder. The real heel kickin’ fun comes when they team up and work together in an “I have to, but I can’t, but I have to, but I can’t, but I have to, but I can’t” sorta way.  Just another of nature’s reminders that self-control is the ultimate unattainable goal.

That's all.

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